Soggy Spot

Father Of Two Boys, Son Of A Fat Man, Married To A Dragon. Australian, Rude, Crude and very prone to Foul Language. If you don't like what I write, you can Fuck Right Off!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

I'm back

Seeing as it has been over a week since my last blog I thorght that I might as well do one just for the sake of it. As you may well know, I went away the other week for work. The pay was good but it was not worth the efort. We drove for 8 and a half hours to do the job only to get there and not be able to finish it as intened.

We got to the office at 5:15am on wednesday the 10th of may. Packed the truck and loaded the scafold. Then to no ones suprise we were short a few scafold poles. The boss statred to throw a tantrum and was going on about people leaveing it on site. So our trip begain with an 1 hour detour to get the rest of the scafold.

We finaly got onto the freeway at 7am and started on our trip north. The trip went well and without to many problems we arived at Ballina at 3:30 pm. Booked into the motel and then went back to the site and started work about 4:oo pm. We worked till dark, wnet back to the motel, had dinner and went to bed.

5:oo am. We are all up and getting ready for a long day. Mark the leading hand started orginising the craines and and sorting out what we had to do. Danny another labourer like myself ran around getting anything we needed to start the job. I continued on the gutter brackets I had started the day before.

By the days end I was stuffed. I had fitted 3 box gutters from brackets to the gutter it's self by myself and had started on the 4th and the bigest. The smallest gutter was about 3 meters long. The next 2 were about 10 meters long and the biggest was about 30 meters long. Putting them is not the hardest of taskes but when your ass is about 8meters off the ground with nothing between you and the ground it can get a little hairy.

I'm not afraid of hights so being up that high doesn't worrie me to much it's the fact the building moves about half a meter in every direction except for up and down, And the only thing to walk on is no more that 4 inches wide. I did however have my harness on at all times. It was just getting to the place to do the work that i was without protection from falling.( And so my wife doesn't panic " Yes sweetness I was hanging on very tight when I wasn't hooked up")

Any way the rest of the trip was baiscly like this. Truck arrived with all our stuff, Unloaded it, And worked our asses of for the next 4 and a bit days from sun up till sun down. Once the roof was finsihed we had to come home as the site was dug up and we could not do the safeet( the underside of the roof.)

So we came racing home only to find out that when the job was done we will be going even further north to another. Don't you just love bosses? Any way thats all I can think of right now to say so I'm off to try that g-spot bj thing that Cher was so nice to share with us all.

XXXOOO
Justin.

P.S If there is any spell or gramer mistakes I don't realy care as my spell checker is out of order tonight ( reading blogs on the other computer...LOL)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

This Is My Trip!

Hi everyone. Just thought I would show you all where I am off to. It's a 662.28 kilometre trip and will take us 7hours and 16minutes without stops to eat, piss or perve on chicks!

Go to www.whereis.com.au

click on get directions.

At start from type Tuggerah and select N.S.W

At finish type Ballina and select N.S.W

Press the go button or whatever is there and it will show you where I'm going for work.
I just thorght you would all like to see.
Talk in 2 weeks or so,
Justin xxxooo

Saturday, May 06, 2006

kill me NOW!!!!!

To all out there who read my blog's, can you please tell me the quickest way to end it all without to much pain, as we have suffered enough. As you can probably guess, we haven't had the best of weeks. If any of you read my other blog's, you would know that I returned to work this week after 2 weeks off. All I will say is that I have worked my fucking guts out this week.

We (as in me and the bloke I work with) have trying to get this fucking school finished before we go away to Ballina. It has been nothing less than an utter C**T to do this job. We thought the roof and gutter was a bitch to put on. You see, the stupid fucking useless c**t that put this frame work up has no idea how to use a level or any other measuring stick to get the building straight and square.

Then there is the window bloke, Who in all his fucked up wisdom decided to measure all of the windows, order them, fit them and not get a single fucking thing right. The mentality of this bloke is hard to describe. Why oh why would you put the fucking windows in before the walls were finished???????? OH yeah, and not put a single one in straight!!!!!!!!

Next we get the brickys. Nice blokes, but again no idea how to use any sort of straight line to make sure that the wall is straight. The smart fuckers decided to follow the frame work and when you look down the side of the building you can see the bend in the wall. The brick work on this building is meant to be straight, not look like the dope that laid it was smoking something before they started.

I mean how hard is it to lay a straight brick????( Cher if you read this please comment on that ;) The whole place looks like it has been built by a fucking retarted monkey who jams things up it's freckle for a laugh. I'M NOT KIDDING!!!!!!! Then we have to spend extra hours/days fixing it up so our walls, gutters, roof and eaves look perfect. I'm not blowing my own trumpet when I say that either. All of our work is seen!!

There can't been a single mark, scratch or sheet out of place. I'll give you all one exanple. There is one wall that is so bent we had to pack our sheets out 11cm at one end. At a little over the half way mark it was back to the frame. Then from there to the end it went back out to 3cm off the frame. If you look along this wall you will see that our work is as straight as an arrow but the brick work and windows are so fucked up it makes our stuff look like it is wrong.

Fuck it pisses me of when that sort of shit happens! And to really top the week of my boss say's to me, Oh by the way Justin your going away next week. My response, When did this fucking happen???? I knew we had an away job coming up but didn't think it was going to be so soon. So on Wednesday this week coming I'm leaving my beautiful Dragon and the little shits at home while I travel north. However the Dragon and kids need to eat, so I cannot afford to knock back 12 hours days and shitloads of overtime, all expenses paid.

So in just a few days I will be traveling 7 hours north to put the lid on a service station. We will also be doing the roof on the underside of the canopy as well as the walls on the canopy. How much fun does that sound like??? Oh yeah I almost forgot. We will also have a fresh out of school bitch aka apprentice, that we will have to watch over.

Big job, new apprentice and away from my family. I just can't fucking wait!!!!!! Let's just hope that this new job is going to be nice and straight and easy. YEAH RIGHT!!!! So if you guys don't hear from me for a few days again that is why. Unless I have gotten the shits with the new bitch and choked them and I'm in jail....lol

So until you all hear from me again, Goodbye for now

Justin

Monday, May 01, 2006

Wind + roofing = DANGER!!!!

Now before we get into today's show, I must let you all know that I do not have an endless amount of stories to keep you all entertained. I will however try to write something to keep myself amused. If you get a giggle out of it, good for you! If not please feel free to refer to my site header. Thanks Justin

Right, now that I have gotten that fucking shit of my mind, I shall continue with today's episode. In today's show, I will explain the DANGERS of trying to lay roof in windy conditions and how to try it at home.

Now for any one who has tried to put up a tent when the breeze is blowing, you have a mild idea as to how bad it actually is. You see roof's are generally up high. ( If you didn't know that till then, get help now!!!) Over here in the land of OZ, our most commonly used roofing material is 'custom orb' or more often know as 'corrogated iron'. This a lightish weight metal, that is made in a sheet about a meter wide and any length you want. Then there's the insulation. Most often it is called 'wool' because of it's look and feel, but let me asure you it's nothing like it. Think of it as fairy floss or cotton candy made of fiberglass and laid on a sheet of paper, and sprinkled with shitloads of the world's worst itching powder!

If you are still reading at this point, good for you. If you aren't, STIFF SHIT!!!!

Just imagine yourself, Go on close your eyes and picture this. You are 4 stories up and on a roof that has a pitch of 30 degrese, Is slipery and there is fuck all between you and the ground. Got it? Good! Now add in the roof sheet over your head. It weighs about 15kg, is a meter wide and 7.5 meters long. Next comes the fun part ;) Place into your picture a wind you can hardly stand up in. Sounds like a lot of fun hey?

With that picture still fresh in your head it's your turn to try it at home. First you will need a few house hold items to get started.

*2 sheets of roof iron( the colour of your choice) at least 5 meters long
*A 7' step ladder
*Rope at least 3 meters long
*Fine dirt or talcum powder
*A screw gun and some screws
*An industrial sized wind tunnel or a couple of blokes with a gut full of beans.
*Gas masks are optional if you go with the beans. Just be warned, NO SMOKING near the boys!

First take the ladder and place it in the upright position( if you didn't know that you must be REALLY, REALLY STUPID!!!)
Then tie 1 of the 2 sheets of iron to the lader( tie it tight or you might get hurt)
Take the dirt or talc and spread lovingly over the sheet tied to the ladder.
This is where the fun really begins.

Turn on the wind tunel or get the boys to start squeezing in your direction. Once the wind is blowing grab that roof sheet and start to walk up the other sheet. Are we having fun yet?? The next step is to lay the sheet in your hands down onto the sheet your standing on. Not all the way on just enough to step onto it and run a couple of screws in. Now repeat 50 times for the full effect.

Well that's it for tonight's show as I'm tired and need to go to bed.

So until next time, 'Keep On Roofing'

xxxooo Justin






Sunday, April 30, 2006

How To Do A Bad Sunday Morning Wake Up

Thanks to Cheryl and Jess, who left their comments on my very first blog.Well it's that time of week again, Back to work. It's only been 2 weeks since I last did any paid work, so back I go. Back into the routine of getting up at 4am, starting at 5:15am, and getting home at 5pm +. Oh boy ...... I just can't wait.

As if you can't tell by now, I'm not much of a writer. But I will do my utmost to bore the living shit out of anyone who reads my blogs. Now, where do I start????? My day started off well as I was snuggled up to my darling wife, who was fast asleep. Then without notice, the fucking phone rings. Mind you it is 7:15am on a Sunday morning and because the phone is at the other end of the house, it rings for some time before I can get to it.

By the time I get to the phone to answer it and yell at the person on the other end, the kids have woken up and are screaming. LITERALLY!!!!!! I don't know if any of you have done it, but when you yell into the phone not knowing who is on the other end, sometimes the end result is not the one you hoped for. As I yell into the phone, "who the fuck is this and what the fuck do you want at this hour!!!" (if you can't tell I was a bit out of sorts) I get the stern reply, "This is you sister, AND YOUR WIFE TOLD ME TO FUCKING RING!!!!!"

In a voice that says I'm not very happy with you, I calmly ask her, "Why did Von tell you to ring??" Before I go any further I need to explain my relationship with my sister. Up until we were in our twenties, we hated each other. Now I don't just mean the usual hate between a brother and sister, I mean the I will go out of my way to make your life miserable, the I will hurt you in any way, shape or form, that I can think of at the moment I see your face, sort of relationship. Now I'm not just talking punches and slaps, I'm talking if I have a brick in my hand, I WILL throw it at you. So as you can see we loved each other SOOOOOOO much!

Now that we are past that part of our relationship we still like to scream at each other on occasion. AND NOW BACK TO THE STORY.

Justin: Why did Von tell you to ring??? ( I will do this in a story type fashion)
Lee: Because you are a lazy C**T who won't get out of bed when you need to.
(just to point out at this time , Von did not tell my sister that I was a lazy c**t)
Justin: GET FUCKED.
Lee: Are you up or not????
Justin: I'm fucking talking to you aren't I? Fuckwit!!
Lee: Good, now be here at 9am for breakfast.
Justin: What do I need to bring???
Lee: Bacon and eggs thats all.
Justin: You want me over there for breakfast and I have to bring it for everyone??? You must be fucking joking!!
Lee: Well it is for Dads b'day and I don't think we have enough.
Justin: Fair enough. Oh and by the way, do you hear that screaming ????
Lee: Yes, AND????
Justin: YOU WOKE THE FUCKING KIDS UP!!!!!!
At this point I hung up the phone and went back to bed.
As for the rest of the day, it went reasonbly well, with all of the normal screaming, yelling, tatrums and present opening of a normal family b'day get together. After finishing up at Mum and Dad's we all came home and started chipping tree branches we had cut down in the last couple of days. As you can all see, my beautiful wife is posing beside the pile we had left when we thought to take a pic.
Well thats about it for tonight as I just can't think of any thing else to write at the moment, and if you have read this far you must be in one of two frames of mind. (1) You were so bored, and had nothing else to do, so you read it to this point or (2) You have actually enjoyed what I have writen and can't wait to see what I write next. If you are number 2, SEEK MEDICAL ADVICE RIGHT NOW!!!!!! The drugs they give you will make you all better ;-)
Allright that's it for me, so until the next episode of "A Day In The Life Of A Roofer", When we will talk about "What it is like on a windy day and how to try it at home".
Justin.
P.S And for all of those that read my blogs you may see the word C**T more often than most sites. Now because this word often offends so many people, I have censored the word. If it does not offend you, please feel free to use it as often as you like in your comments, but if you do, please do it like this, C**T, not like this, CUNT, as it may offend someone else more closeminded than us.
Thanks
Justin

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Come sit in the Soggy Spot

Welcome one and all to my very own Soggy Spot. Please feel free to come and sit in my Soggy Spot anytime you want. If you would like to comment on my Soggy Spot please feel free to do so. If you wish to add to it to make my Soggy Spot bigger and more noticeable please let your insperation FLOW!!!!!

Now that that part is over I can introduce myself for those of you that don't know me. I think the best way to describe myself is that I'm a 6'2 Aussie male who is married to a dragon..... LOL... Again for all who know me this is Winged-One AKA
Yvonne. We have been together for eons or so it feels, but have only been married for 6 years.

We have 2 little people to look after, one of which is a little angel and the other a right little arsehole. What else is there to say really ??? Oh yeah, I'm a roofer by day which is really fun during the summer (sarcasm just used) .... LOL ... If you have ever heard the term, Like a cat on a hot tin roof then you 'don't get' how hot it actually gets up there. Think of it as , Like a cat behind a jet turbine with the afterburners on, and then you may get the idea of what it is like on a tin roof during an Australian summer.

Oh ok you've twisted my arm so I'll winge about my job some more as people find it funny when other people are in pain or suffering. Now to get you thinking of what I go through on a daily basis. As part of this I invite you to participate! All you need is a few household items.

*First turn your a/c up as high as it will go.
*Then go and get all the hair dryers in the house.
*Set the hair dryers all together and pointing the same way then turn them onto highest/hottest setting.
*By now you should be feeling a little uncomfortable.
*Now go to the kitchen and put a frypan on the stove.
*Set the temp 3/4 to high and leave it heat for 10 mins.
*Now go stand in front of the hair dryers and rub youself with fiberglass insulation until the frypan is HOT. (This shit makes you itch like CRAZY)
*DING ...... ten minutes are up.
*Now walk at a fast pace to the frypan, grab it off the stove bare handed, by the PAN not the HANDLE.
*Walk back to the hair dryers, stand in front of them for a moment or two, while still holding the frypan.
*Take the pan back to the stove.
*Repeat for 8 hours and you may finish the day in the same condition I do.

Now to get a better idea on the whole deal, do it for a week and on occasion turn on all the hot water taps and really steam the place up as well. Just for fun. And thus concludes my first offical blog. For further info on how to torture yourself, don't hesitate to ask about my day anytime in the future. So GOODBYE for now and hopefully I'll write something else soon.

Justin